Hello Sweden

I am happy to report that 2011 has started in a most pleasant manner for yours truly. After my last date with Søren #32 in mid-December (must postpone sharing that story again, for the sake of new material) I found myself quite obsessed with the idea of Scandinavian men (thus far have had the privilege of carnal knowledge of two most handsome and hunky Danes) when I remembered that I actually know a Swedish guy called Jan who also lives in Munich. We met at a mutual friends’ (Simon #29) birthday do in April 2010 and I found him most agreeable and he also seemed to show interest in me (touching my leg and such) but it was also a very debaucherous night and we ended up in Schwabinger 7 (a rather rough hovel of a pub that is open till the wee hours) but when we were all leaving to go home (utterly smashed) maybe at 6am or so he didn’t show much interest in going home with neither me nor my friend Caroline and we both thought that was kinda weird but left it at that. Jan is 6’3” and basically your stereotypical strapping blond and blue-eyed Swede and I find him quite handsome too. The downside to that whole matter is, as I only recently found out, that Swedish guys are pathologically shy and are unlikely to make the first move if they like a girl, take a long time to consider things, need loads of space (but that’s all men), will only talk to you when blind-drunk and relationships take forever to develop etc. I discussed him extensively with Caroline and we came to the conclusion that he’s the most socially awkward person we know (he also has a lisp which doesn’t bother me personally and is pretty much the nerdy engineer-type) but now we know it’s because of his nationality. Since I learned about the ways of the Swedes not so long ago, I always assumed that Jan wasn’t really all that into me, but then I reconsidered because he actually does communicate with me via Facebook every now and then and while I was in the Czech Republic over the hols I decided to give it a shot and flat out ask him out (after we met for the first time we met one other time, also in April, Jan and a mate joined Caroline and I at Kilian’s where he behaved kinda non-descript).

I sent Jan a message on Facebook on New Years’ Day asking whether he would like to go out with me some time and he replied the next day but I didn’t retrieve his reply until last Tuesday, as I was returning to Munich and got my 3G signal back. He said sure, he’d like to go out some time and that he was free pretty much all of last week. So we arranged to go out on Wednesday. We met at the south exit of the Giselastrasse U-Bahn station and of course there were two of them and I was waiting at one while he was at the other across the street but since he isn’t blind as bat like I am he spotted me and crossed the street to greet me with an awkward hug and we first went to Wirtshaus zur Brez’n, a traditional Bavarian place but still nice. I was nervous and I could tell Jan wasn’t much better, yet we managed to have an almost normal conversation accompanied by the first litre of social lubricant. I was keen to go elsewhere because our seating arrangement didn’t allow any bodily contact and we went to Shamrock (Irish pub, duh) where we sat in a rather more cosy position, facing each other on the same side of a table, as a matter of fact, we were sitting so close that our knees touched almost incessantly. Jan and I were getting more and more at ease as alcohol continued to be ingested. Knowing what I know about the Swedish I boldly made another move and took his hand at some point and he reciprocated. I thought I’d given him enough to work with and decided that I didn’t want to kiss him first and I didn’t really have to, not long after we started holding hands he gently pulled me towards him and when I leaned in he kissed me (yay) and we did so for what seemed like a long time and must have been about two hours until we left to go back to his’ around 1.30am (hemma hos mig eller hemma hos dig? I asked and he said his place). Jan’s place is positively immaculate (also a trait of the Swedish) and certainly most agreeable. We sat on the settee making out and drinking more and then retreated to the bedroom where we stripped off and I got to enjoy Jan’s yummy (next to no chest hair, yay) bod. I am also pleased to be able to report that he is quite well-endowed and it is a pleasure to suck his dick. So we had sex, with a condom even, but it didn’t go very smoothly, Jan kept losing his erection (booze? nerves?) but I must confess that I was pretty hammered so I don’t necessarily remember everything, just that I didn’t mind the interrupted performance because he is genuinely sweet and I got to like him quite a lot. Another challenge was finding a good position for fucking, what with him being more than a foot taller than me (and clearly not used to fucking midgets like me, eek). We finally went to sleep around 5am and it was most pleasant and comforting to feel his warm naked body next to mine and I slept well. The next morning we both awoke rather early (9am or summat) and had another go at fucking which didn’t work out either and then lay in bed cuddling, kissing, and talking for a couple more hours before we bad each other goodbye with the promise to meet again soon.

Now, I got two casual messages from him on that day but nowt since then. I don’t think that he changed his mind about me, he’s just taking some time to contact me again, and that’s perfectly fine (as long as he doesn’t go off me!). I remember telling him in my drunkenness that I had only asked him out because I had read on the internet that Swedish men will often not make the first move and that I otherwise wouldn’t have done it and in reply to that he said that he was glad that I asked him out, which I think is a good sign.

Despicable incurably stupid me, I am smitten and constantly obsessing about Jan now, of course, who is #44 by the way. But unless I did something during the part of our date when we where at his place that put him off (which is not entirely unlikely) I hope to see more of him in the future. A lot more.